I Love You and I'm Not Afraid
by SparrowsTreasure
Summary: LoganRogue (Alternate ending to Fatal Embrace) It's now or never. Will Logan finally admit that what he feels for Rogue is the same thing she feels for him?


If there was anything worse then summer days it was winter nights, or at least that's what Marie thought. She laid wide awake upon her bed wishing she could fall asleep, but it was too cold to do so. Turning on her side, she curled up and brought her legs closer to her chest hoping to warm up a bit. It worked for about a second, before a cold draft blew into the room. She shivered and rubbed the palms of her hands upon her arms hoping to warm herself up.

Next to her bed was Amber, who was already fast asleep, as if she didn't mind the cold. _Of course she doesn't mind the cold, _Marie thought to herself, _She's used to Bobby's touch. _In a sense, Marie envied Amber for what she had. Her power wasn't as threatening to other people as Marie's was, and Amber had someone to love her. Marie had only begun to enjoy what love meant, before it had been ripped from her.

She pushed the thought aside by shaking her head. Things had always been this way, why should she start minding them now? But she did mind, and she became to hate the gift she was endowed with. To her it was no more than a curse that destroyed her life. She wanted to be normal girl she had once been, and be able to touch the people she loved. People like Logan...

She couldn't bring herself to hate him, because even if he claimed that he felt nothing for her, she still felt that need to have him there for her. But she kept this longing to herself and he would never know about it. In front of him she acted like nothing had happened, and tried to continue her life as best as possible, but it was eating her up from inside. 

Marie was tired of spending restless nights thinking of Logan. Her fear of being alone consumed her in the dark, and it was hard to fight away the sad thoughts. If they had broken up, why didn't he just leave and go find his past now and never return? Why did he have to stay to remind her of what she could never have? 

__

I'm so tired of being here

suppressed by all my childish fears

and if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

But deep down she didn't want him to leave, and if he was to leave she wanted him to come and take her away as well. So that they could break all of the rules and prove once and for all that they were meant to be together no matter who tried to pull them apart. Her heart ached and neither she nor time could take away any of that pain and alleviate her.

__

'cause your presence still lingers here

and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real 

there's just too much that time cannot erase 

Hadn't she been there when he needed her the most? Through his nightmares she had held him close, and whispered soft comforting words. Through his most frustrating moment she had been the only shred of sense left in him. How could it have ended the way it had? How could she not mean anything to him when he meant the world to her. Even if he didn't want her back, she still wanted him.

__

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears 

when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

i held your hand through all of these years 

but you still have all of me 

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she sniffed while wiping it aside. She knew she was foolish for still keeping hope, but what other choice did she have? Forgetting Logan wasn't exactly a choice. He had embedded himself into her, and she would never be able to erase the tracks he had left within her. Weeks after it had happened, she had been unable to sleep and in those restless night she would wander around the mansion. She remembered the night where she had unintentionally come to stand outside of his door. Even through the thick wooden doors she could hear his muttering and groans; he was having yet another nightmare. Of course, the night hadn't been any better for her since every time she closed her eyes she would see him. It was not only because of those memories she had stolen from him, but also those that he had made during the time he was with her.

__

you used to captivate me

by your resonating life

now I'm bound by the life you left behind 

your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal

this pain is just too real

there's just too much that time cannot erase 

Tired of her maddening thoughts, she pushed the covers aside and stepped out of bed. The hallway was cool and empty which was great. She would head to the rec. room and watch some TV hoping that would put her to sleep. Her feet were bare, making no noise upon the wooden floor as she walked. 

Much to her surprise, there came a light from the Rec. room and as she got closer she found it to be coming from the TV. A figure sat slumped on the couch watching TV, with a drink in hand. It didn't take a genius to recognize that the drink was a long neck bottle of beer, and the only one Marie knew to drink openly was Logan. A small smile came upon her face, and she headed towards the couch still.

Logan smelled the sweet scent of her hair and neck even before she was at close range. He said nothing, but kept a steady pace in his drinking. In the same hand in which he grasped the bottle, his fingers held a lit cigar in place. 

Marie stepped up closer and sat down on the adjacent chair, but said nothing. He pretended not to care and kept his eyes glued to the TV; trying hard not to look her way. 

Marie made the same effort of not looking her way even though she wanted desperately to steal a glance. She cleared her throat and reclined further unto the chair. Logan's eyes shot her way since he thought she had something to say, but he quickly turned back to the TV and took another swig of his beer.

She smiled secretly to herself knowing that had caught his attention. Part of her wanted to make him pay for the way he had hurt her and the other side of her screamed for him. Yet, she was unaware that inside of Logan a similar battle was being fought. It was driving them both crazy to be sitting next to each other and not be able to show what they really felt. But then again... what was keeping them from doing so?

Minutes passed, and not a word was exchanged between them. Logan had finished his beer and his cigar was extinguished leaving only the thick smoke to hang in the air. Marie's legs were propped over on the arm rest; hanging off the edge. Her arms were lazily draped over her torso, and her eyes were closing heavily. The comfort she had not been able to find alone in the solace of her room, she had found in the Rec. room with Logan being near. Her breaths were short and hardly audible anymore.

Logan looked over to find that she had fallen into a slight slumber. He waited a minute or so to wait until she was really asleep, before he would walk over. First he switched off the TV so that it would make no noise. Then, he headed over to her; planning to pick her up and carry her to her room.

But as his arm dug under her frame Marie shot up. By coincidence their face met only inches apart from each other. Her eyes were wide, with fear, looking straight into his which seemed confused at the moment. His arm was still under her, but he had paused to see what she would do now.

"Relax. You fell asleep on the couch. I'm gonna take you to your room."

Marie crawled back, away from his touch, "Ah don't need you to do anything for me."

"Listen, kid I ain't doing this...." he paused, "Never mind. Forget it."

"That's just your style ain't it, Logan? You want me to forget everything....including us."

He knew exactly where this was leading, and he was beginning to regret the fact that he had tried to help her make her way to bed. 

"I don't see what's so hard about it," He answered with a slight shrug.

Her eyes widened in shock, and she wanted to slap him hard enough to smack the arrogance out of him.

"What's so hard about it... is that _Ah_ still care for you even if you might not feel the same way about me."

Logan wanted to grin at the moment. She had admitted what he could not bring himself to admit. He still had feelings for her, and if she did too then it didn't matter what Scott or anybody else seemed to think; he wasn't about to give her up once more.

"Well, say something." Rogue's voice was a small whisper, but the longing for his response was still evident.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything... please just say something. Don't leave me looking like a fool."

Even though she had the courage of admitting her feelings for him, Logan wanted to have some more fun before confessing how he felt. Trying his best to look as calm as possible he answered, "Go to bed, kid."

And that was all that Marie needed in order to lose her temper. "No, Ah won't go to bed! Not until you tell me what your problem is. Aren't you man enough to face how you really feel?! Huh? You aren't leaving this room until you tell me how it is you really fell." She was determined to make him tell her the truth, and he could see that in her eyes.

Logan wasn't exactly one to yell at, and he had to admit he was tired of oppressing his feelings for her. If she wanted to know how he really felt then he would let her know. Not caring about her power, he took hold of her arms and pushed her roughly unto the sofa. And as quickly as his hands had come in contact with her skin, he released her to make sure neither of them would get hurt. Placing his hands on either side of her head he cornered her and pressed in; his face only a couple of inches from hers. 

"I gave you a chance to forget about me, kid. You should have taken it."

"Ah couldn't allow mahself to do it." She answered in a whisper since she was still surprised by his actions.

"Yeah, well that ain't even the half of it. I couldn't push you out of my mind either."

She said nothing not knowing what to say in return. Her eyes scanned his, and then fell to his lips. Logan's eyes also fell upon her lips, and he leaned in to kiss her.

But before he had a chance of actually kissing her, she stopped him by pulling back.

"Ah can't... Ah'll hurt you."

Logan wasn't one to give up so easily though. "That didn't stop me from loving you before, so why would it stop me now?" He asked with a small grin before taking his hand and wrapping it around the curvature of her neck; bringing her lips closer to his, and with the energy he had left in him he pressed his lips roughly to hers. In return she gripped the back of his neck pulling into the hungry dominant kiss that she had been anticipating for. 


End file.
